a day in the life

"woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head...found my way downstairs and drank a cup, and looking up, i noticed i was late...found my coat and grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds flat..."

needless to say, lennon and mccartney wrote that before they had kids.

here's how our yesterday morning looked...

2am: greg returns home from the office.

5am: paige awake. again. i feed her for 20 minutes and put her back down, then head back to bed myself. as i dose off, i wonder why paige is sleeping worse now than she did as a newborn.

5:30am: greg's alarm goes off. after a few snooze-pushes, he drags himself out of bed, turns on computer, and starts his 18-hour workday.

6:45am: grant's awake! "mom, i slept for seven-forty minutes." "nice work, dude!" as usual, he doesn't want us to change his enormous stinky diaper. "grant, please come here so i can take your diaper off."

6:50am: grant starts in on his under-the-sea floor puzzle. he will do this puzzle at least 5 more times today. he is a compulsive puzzle genius.

7:15am: paige is awake! she greets me with an enormous, ear-to-ear smile. "grant, please come here so i can take your diaper off."

7:20am: feed paige. she's totally distracted by grant running in and out of her room. "grant, please go see daddy so he can take your diaper off."

7:30am: jump in shower for frantic 5 minute scrub-down. greg plates some raspberries and pops a frozen waffle in the toaster for grant. "grant, please eat your waffle. big t-rex bite. 1-2-3..."

7:35am: "grant, if you don't come here right now and let me take your diaper off you're going in time out! 1-2-3..."

7:40am: greg battles through kicks and giggles to remove grant's offensive diaper. he deposits it on the front porch, where it will remain until thursday when someone finally gets around to putting it in the trash can.

7:42am: greg attempts to get grant dressed. a tantrum ensues because, unbeknownst to greg, grant wanted to take his pajama pants off BY HIMSELF. "grant, i can't understand you when you're screeching like that. stop crying and tell me in your big boy voice what's wrong." "i [sob] wanted to [sob screech] take my [sob screech sob] pants off BY MYSELF [sob sob sob screech]!!!!!!!!!!!!" expertly picking his battles, greg promptly puts grant's pajama pants back on so that grant can remove them on his own. crisis averted.

7:45am: try to feed paige again, this time with door closed so she's not distracted by her insanely interesting big brother. she concedes to a few sucks.

7:50am: in a moment of calm and clarity i realize that greg and i are still naked. scramble to get dressed before the nanny arrives. "grant, big t-rex bite of your waffle please! you need to eat so you get big and strong like daddy!" (and so that the other moms stop looking at my skinny kid and wondering why i don't feed him.)

8am: nanny arrives for paige, grandma nichols arrives for grant, petunia doesn't bark her head off because of the awesome no-bark collar we just got her. hooray!

8:05am: greg straps a leash on petunia and shuttles her off to doggy day care. grant starts running very loud laps around the living room.

8:10am: one more attempt to feed miss paige, who's been happily playing on her tummy all morning with nary a peep. silently thank god for such a happy (albeit sleepless) little girl. silently pray to god that grant doesn't kill himself or one of his caretakers today.

8:15am: grant is still running laps. i steal a kiss on one of his passes before hitting the road for work. aaaah. silence.